Why Don't You Just Leave? (Getting Out Of An Abusive Relationship)

Did you know that majority of the people that turn to be abusive were themselves abused or witnessed their parents go through abuse. Why Don’t You Just Leave? This is the question many people ask when they learn that a woman and in some cases a man is suffering battery and abuse. Does it surprise you? Yes, Men are also abused. But if you are in an abusive relationship, you know that it’s not that simple. Ending a significant relationship is never easy especially when such individual has been isolated by both friends and family, psychologically beaten down, financially controlled, and to pour salt to injury physically threatened.

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and torn. Maybe you’re still hoping that your situation will change or you’re afraid of how your partner will react if he (she) discovers that you’re trying to leave. One moment, you may desperately want to get away, and the next, you may want to hang on to the relationship. Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. The only thing that matters is your safety. If you are being abused, it becomes pertinent to then remember that, you are not to blame for been battered or mistreated, you deserve to be treated with respect, you deserve a safe and happy life and most importantly you are not alone and there are people waiting to help. You need just speak out.

“I wanted to be loved so badly that I forgot his mean side; I felt totally hopeless and worthless” recounts a confidant but whether or not you’re ready to leave your abuser, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. These safety tips might the difference between being severely injured or killed and escaping with your life.K Knowyour abuser’s red flags. Stay alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.

Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.
If you decide to stay then Be kind to yourself! Develop a positive way of looking at and talking to yourself. Use affirmations to counter the negative comments you get from the abuser. Carve out time for activities you enjoy.

Dominic C.C (ISMN)


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