Parents: Causes Of Their Children's Misfortune?
I was enrolled in a language class when I made my way to a foreign country. After classes that evening I was on my way back to the house I couldn’t help but notice something in the school parking lot. A mother was picking up her child, who looked to be about 16 or 17 years old, but the child wasnt moving fast enough. So she proceeded to raise her voice, instructing him to hurry up. What I heard next made my heart drop to my stomach: “Get in the car fool"
I stood there for few minutes, paralyzed. I was in shock because I had never heard a mother refer to her child with that word. The profane and demeaning language continued and could be heard coming from inside of their car. I felt for the child. I even had sympathy for the mother, who, I am sure loves her children and does the very best she can to take care of them. But how can anyone justify cursing their kids? When the harsh, penetrating words pierce a young soul, they have to leave deep wounds that take months, even years to heal. Contrary to what people say, sticks and stones and words hurt.
When we (of course people who have kids) curse at children, curses are pronounced on them. We speak ill, misfortune, negativity, and worthlessness into their lives. We override the positive affirmations they may have received at school as soon as they come into our presence. We set them up to fail and to see themselves as failures. Words are just that powerful.
Now, some of you might be thinking that this is common sense. We all know this by now, right? Well, that’s what I thought until I witnessed a child receiving a verbal tongue-lashing in the school parking lot. And, if we are really honest with ourselves, we have witnessed similar incidents in our communities and homes, too. Maybe we have slipped and cursed kids before we knew what was coming out of our mouths. Also, we can curse our kids without using profanity.
Have you ever heard someone say these statements in a way to degrade a child? You’re just like your daddy, You’re never going to be anything, You were a mistake. I wish you were never born. I don’t have time for you. Nobody will ever want you. You never do anything right. You are bad. Why you so stupid? You’re so “fast.” Sound familiar? Do you think these statements are harmless? Although they don’t contain “curse words,” they still pronounce curses in a person’s life.
As the grownups, we have to be in control of our tongues and tempers so we don’t kill our children’s spirits with our words. I live by Proverbs 18:21 that says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue,” which means I have a choice to speak life or to speak death. And whichever one I choose, it will come to pass, eventually. I know it gets tough sometimes when our children misbehave or when we are just downright tired from a day’s work. I can be short tempered and quick-tongued, too. But, can we agree that some words and statements should not be spoken to our children (or to anyone, for that matter)? Instead, let’s season our language with life-affirming words that heal, encourage, validate, and soothe. You don’t need a specific reason or occasion to tell your child: I love you. You are God’s gift to me. I’m so proud of you. You can be anything you want to be. You are so smart. I will always make time for you. You have a family who loves you. You are a good person.
"There came up also little children from the city, and mocked him, and said to him, Go up, bald-head, go up. And he turned after them, and saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And, behold, there came out two bears out of the wood, and they tore forty and two children of them (2 Kings 2:23-24). What types of words were spoken to you as a child? Are you repeating what you heard or speaking differently now that you are an adult? Elishas curse brought about 42 dead children, becareful how you use ur tongue.
Dominic C.C (ISMN)